Thursday, November 08, 2007
Friday, November 03, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Old joke but very funny.
Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.
> >>>> It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
> >
> >>>> Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence
> >
> >>>> was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting
> >>>> through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the
> >>>> driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning
> >>>> into his
> >> road.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box
> >>>> approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape
> >>>> more clearly....It was a coffin.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and
> >>>> started walking briskly home.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
> >>>> faster.........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog,
> >>>> but he heard the coffin speed up after him......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin
> >>>> was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled
> >
> >>>> out his keys,
> >>>>
> >>>> His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside
> >>>> slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room,
> >>> and
> >>
> >
> >>>> jumped into his comfy chair.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way
> >>>> through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock
> >>>> off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty
> >>>> hinges as it continued its chase.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs>
> >>>> could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the
> >>>> door........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
> >
> >>>> launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the
> >
> >>>> bathroom door
> >>>>
> >>>> flew
> >>>> off its hinges....
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the
> >>>> young terrified lad.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his
> >>>> bathroom cabinet......
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
> >>>> coffin.......still it came .
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ..... > Still
> >>>> it came......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin stopped.
> >>>> It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
> >
> >>>> Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence
> >
> >>>> was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting
> >>>> through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the
> >>>> driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning
> >>>> into his
> >> road.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box
> >>>> approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape
> >>>> more clearly....It was a coffin.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and
> >>>> started walking briskly home.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
> >>>> faster.........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog,
> >>>> but he heard the coffin speed up after him......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin
> >>>> was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled
> >
> >>>> out his keys,
> >>>>
> >>>> His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside
> >>>> slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room,
> >>> and
> >>
> >
> >>>> jumped into his comfy chair.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way
> >>>> through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock
> >>>> off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty
> >>>> hinges as it continued its chase.....
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs>
> >>>> could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the
> >>>> door........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
> >
> >>>> launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the
> >
> >>>> bathroom door
> >>>>
> >>>> flew
> >>>> off its hinges....
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the
> >>>> young terrified lad.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his
> >>>> bathroom cabinet......
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
> >>>> coffin.......still it came .
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ..... > Still
> >>>> it came......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came......
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The coffin stopped.